This is where the healing begins.......

On February 18th, the morning following my visit with him, Uncle Roger passed away with his family by his side.....my Aunt Sharolyn described it as, " just being so peaceful to finally watch all of the discomfort that he has been dealing with for the past several months just leave his body". He was home with his Lord & Saviour and what a celebration I am sure that they had that day in heaven! These two people, (Roger and Sharolyn), have made the most amazing "team" as parents, uncles/aunts, in-laws, cousins, mentors, & friends to so many people over the past 45 years of marriage. My cousins, Becky and Pam, spoke at the funeral (I will never forget the strength that God gave them that day to be able to that - it was amazing!!!). They reminisced about so many wonderful things from their childhoods with their Dad, the amazing man that he was, described his personality perfectly(quiet, humble, loving, loyal, mischievous, handsome, etc,.) and shared heartfelt stories with us all. But the thing that continued to ring through during their messages was that their parents have always taught them how to LOVE , and most importantly, to know that they are loved. Not only by their family, but the special love that we can only receive from God and then give back in return,....as 1 Corinthians:13 reminds us......."Love never gives up, cares more for others than for self, does not want what it does not have, does not strut or have a swelled head, does not force itself onto others, isn't always "me first", doesn't fly off the handle, keep score of the sins of others, puts up with anything, trusts God ALWAYS, looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going in the end.....LOVE never DIES....This is such a reflection on how they lived their lives together.

Pam also shared this poem
God saw you getting tired, and a cure was not to be.
So he put his arms around you and whispered, "Come to me".
With tearful eyes we watched you and saw you pass away.
Although we love you dearly, we could not make you stay.
A Golden heart stopped beating, hard working hands at rest.
God broke our hearts to prove to us that He only takes "the best"

The Pastor also mentioned that afternoon that he had conversations with Roger in regard to his cancer diagnosis. He said that he had once asked him "Do you ever question, "Why Me?" And Roger answered, "Why not me?". I find this to be such a humbling testimony to how he lived his life.....May God forever bless you Uncle Roger & we LOVE YOU!!

A favorite band at the Cairney house, Tenth Avenue North, sings this amazing song, "This is where the healing begins....this is where the healing starts.....when it comes to where your broken within, light meets the dark......

Strength + Perserverance + Courage + Faith = My Uncle Roger

Some of you may know that my Uncle Roger has been battling cancer for the past 2+years....he is now in the last stages of this fight and still today, continues to amaze me!! After going thru major surgeries, numerous chemotherapy & radiation treatments, his cancer was still continuing to win this battle. In November/December they decided that he would stop all of his treatments and focus on staying as comfortable as he could, just enjoying life as much as possible!! And enjoy life he has.....For my entire life, this guy has held a very special place in my heart. It was like God had blessed me with another amazing Dad, except for this one lived in Iowa, with one of the most amazing girls you could ever meet (my dear Becky). Not only were her and barely 1 month apart in age, but we were as close as any cousins could be and still are to this day! When I was younger, we would spend as many weekends together as we could during the year. All summer we would trade off weeks and either go to Nebraska or me at the Fett house. So many of my childhood memories revolve around this amazing family and the blessings they have given me.

I cannot even begin to explain the fun that I have had with them all for the past 37+years.....but as these last days of his life here on Earth are drawing near....I have been thinking so much about how him and my Aunt Sharolyn have impacted me. I ask God on so many occasions why someone we love so much would have to suffer in this way?? I know that he will tell me his answer one day and it will be so very clear, but until then, I can only ponder on the thought that he is teaching us to live more like Roger has each and every day. Not only is he a man that loves the Lord & has an amazing faith, but he has taught me to SLOW down -- enjoy life! He has always been the kind of guy that never seemed to be in a hurry to leave anywhere, or would always arrive somewhere that people were not expecting them to (thinking that him and Sharolyn would not drive over for 3+ hours just for a small event that may only last an hour or two) and then make the long drive back home that same night. But now it is all so clear to me.....you just make the TIME for people that you love, those that you care about, and the rest of life is just details....
Sitting in the hospital room tonight with him, my Aunt Sharolyn, Becky and her siblings, we talked about this....they asked me, "What shall we continue to say when people ask us "What can we do to help?? What do you need?" and I just thought for a moment and said, "You know people are thinking of you all, praying constantly.....so, I think the best thing that you can do is just encourage people to "go and visit more, pick up the phone and call those people that are on your mind, send that card, send that email, give those hugs&kisses, and most importantly, tell those that you love, how much you love them and why!" This I feel just cannot be done enough, and it is something that you will never regret!

We continue to pray for comfort for them all, that God just shines down his love & mercy on them, and gives them peace.

As I was leaving Roger's room tonight, I told him that I loved him, gave him a hug & kiss on the cheek and then he whispered "Thank-you" to me, squeezed my hand, and winked his eye. I told him that helping him has been an honor and privilege for me....I love you Uncle Roger - thank-you for living the life that you have!!!

Daddy Daughter Dance

This past weekend was the Daddy/Daughter dance at church. Now, those of you that know Doug, also know that he has a very big passion for dancing in public! A few weekends ago Kate had noticed the notes about it in the bulletin and asked if I thought he would want to go. My first thought was, "Of course he does NOT", but I encouraged her to ask him, and I crossed my fingers for her......So after church she asked him and he said "YES". What a guy, and she was so very excited!
One night last week, I even came home after work and found them practicing their dance moves in the kitchen -- too cute!! Friday night rolled around and the excitement was still pretty high around here. I helped them with their flowers, took a few pictures and then off they went on their special evening of dinner & dancing....and most importantly, time alone for Kate and Daddy...it just does not get any better than that!

Here they are showing off their moves!


Of course, the evening ended a bit like this from what it seems in the photo. After some pretty intense dancing by both of them (at least this is what they were telling me, "Mom, we were dancing for a long time, doing line dances, YMCA, everything!! It was so fun!! But then that little spot on my foot started hurting so we took a cookie & drink break)...and after the break, they decided to call it a night. Too cute! If Doug is not careful, this may become a favorite tradition of hers (-: But mostly, I just love the thought that they spent the evening celebrating together, just the two of them.
We had a fun Valentine's weekend here also.....lots of hugs, kisses, decorated cookies, and even a date Sunday afternoon for Doug and I (we went on a long bike ride down through Water Works Park, Gray's Lake and into downtown Des Moines). A perfect day!!
XOXOXOXO -- to you all!!!

Papa & Nanny Suhr visit

We had the best weekend visit with my parents! We kicked off the weekend with them being here as soon as we all got home from school and work. The kids were so very excited....I was too!!! Our weekend was filled with the kids both having basketball games and my mom and I were able to squeeze in a little shopping. They also had a special dinner (dining in Chinese at Hy-Vee (the kids picked) and movie night while Doug and I were at my work party.

The kids are playing for the "Upward" league and are having such fun! Doug is coaching them both so that is keeping him busy. I should have had the video camera with me this weekend because Miss Kate had the game of her life! She was hustling everywhere, making tons of baskets, cheering on her teammates, but most importantly - having the time of her life!! Her little face was just beaming with happiness! We were very proud of you Kate!

This was Ben's first game ever this Saturday too and he did super also...however, it is funny how he measures whether he did well or not. I told him that the did a great job hustling, on defense, dribbling, etc.,.and how proud we were of him too, but he quickly said, "But none of my baskets went in!" Hang in there buddy!

Thanks again Mom and Dad for coming over, wish that it could have been longer!!!

Snow day -- February 2, 2011

We had a "little" blizzard here in West Des Moines yesterday and last night.....therefore, school was called off for today! The kids and I spent the morning in our jammies, watching movies, playing.....then the afternoon the kids and I went for a little walk around the block and they spent a few hours outside. It was COLD -- but they had a great time building forts, giggling, and just enjoying being together. They stayed hidden long enough to bomb Daddy when he arrived home and were both so very excited about that (-: It's just the little things in life isn't it?? Like my friend Stephanie was sharing with me just this week.....take the time in life with people, kids, etc.,... just make more time for "time" with each other.....you will never regret not getting the dishes/laundry done, but you will regret not making that snow angel, playing games, snuggling just "5 more minutes" etc.,. My wish for you all is that you just make a little more "time" special with those you LOVE!!!!